Now Serving Crappie Meals!

One of the most glaring issues American society faces today is childhood obesity. With the cost of fast food options at an all time low, dollar menu items fly out the stores faster than new iPhones on release day. Due to this, our once sacred kids meal surprises are now becoming confusing for our youth. “Gender specific toys are taking the joy out of what was once a happy meal.” states one mother hungry for a meal.

New useful items

New useful items

The state of Michigan is taking a firm stand and is proposing to no longer allow restaurants to offer toys with kids meals. Instead, you will find items kids can use. Items like toenail clippers, bricks, widgets, extra food, and low doses of insulin for the more portly children.

"My kid never plays outside," said one concerned mother. "Big Johnny just sits on the couch playing Fortnite. I would rather see him keep his diabetes in check while staying well groomed.” “At least we won’t have gender specific toys in our house!”

Fast Food induced Fortnite Rage

Fast Food induced Fortnite Rage

As an alternative to toys, some restaurants are just giving away coupons for more food. Making those dollar menu items as low as 38 cents!

"Why the hell would I buy a 13 dollar salad when I can get 12 cheeseburgers and a large Diet Coke!?" Said Francine Watkins "That's just dumb."

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Angry over Crappie Meal!