Trump Launching "Trump TV" Plans to give State of the Union Address; Powered By McRibs

Houston - As the country continues to feel the impact of the longest government shutdown in US history, president Trump is being met with resistance concerning the annual State of the Union address. House speaker Pelosi penned a letter to POTUS advising that if the shutdown continues he should either provide the message in written form or make plans to not have the address at all.

White house sources say that president Trump does not plan to do either of the suggested alternatives offered, and revealed that we are likely to see the debut of what many are calling "Trump TV". If you recall, there was a presidential text alert sent to US citizens early in October 2018. We are told that this was beta testing for the upcoming automatic video stream to every mobile device in the country.

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White house advisors hinted that POTUS wants "All the smoke" with speaker Pelosi, and that they anticipate him to "say it with his chest" come January 29th.

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A tweet posted earlier today, indicates that the leader of the free world is likely to aim slugs in the direction of former all pro DE Michael Strahan. A person close the the situation stated that the president was white hot when he learned of Strahan's lobster feast invitation to the Clemson Tigers. Strahan indicated that he would treat the national champs to a proper meal after the "2 for 5 Feast" hosted by the White House was highly criticized. See details of the “2 for 5 Feast here”

Trump plans to double down on that puzzling food choice and will make this year's State of the Union address a historic one. Unreleased details state that exclusive Groupon codes for buy one get one free McRib's will be provided to all that complete the full address and subscribe monthly to “Trump Tv”.

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